You know what I hate?

I reckon people who don’t walk down escalators should be taken out and shot.
You know, those people who just stand there and let the thing carry them down to the next floor. I don’t like it and I don’t even understand it. If you think about it, it doesn’t make any sense at all. People who do it, when asked why, would probably say, “Oh, well I’m just having a bit of a rest, and I’m not in that much of a hurry.” Fine. Splendid. But why do you decide to have your rest on the escalator? If you’re not in a hurry, why not just stop in the middle of the footpath and stand there for 30 seconds staring aimlessly into space? It amounts to the same thing. You still get where you’re going, just not as quickly, and you still get your rest. Why do you decide to stop in the one place in the entire shopping mall/department store/etc where it is most difficult to overtake you? Standing still on the up escalators I can partially understand. I mean, we wouldn’t want to actually get any exercisewhen we’re out on our Saturday morning shop, now would we? We wouldn’t want to speed up our shopping, avoid pissing off the people lined up behind us and get a free workout, all at the same time. Heaven forbid. These are the same people who will spend $400 on an annual gym membership so that they can walk on a Stair-Master for an hour a day. In my book, you’re only allowed to stand still on the down escalator if you’ve got a pram, a donkey or a refrigerator, or are 78 years old with an arthritic hip. The rest of you, and you know who you are, stand single-file to one side or prepare to enjoy the domino effect as I rugby-tackle the lot of you to the ground floor.
OK. Consider yourselves told.

4 Responses to “You know what I hate?”

  1. Gerry Says:

    Visit Gerry

    I can’t help thinking of that splendid TV program, just recently on the ABC, called Grumpy Old Men. Great stuff about what these fellows hate most about the world today. A strange title as it turned out, since I did not think the men particularly grumpy, and certainly not old. The oldest was probably twenty years younger than me. The grumpiness of the title sprang from the fact that what other people did, how businesses organised themselves and the obstacles placed in the way of the ordinary man simply pissed these gentlemen off. Perfectly reasonable too, I thought, when you consider the necessity to learn another language to order a cup of coffee, or the tinny din that comes from young peoples’ headphones on trains and buses, or the fear and loathing of having to visit an Ikea store, or contact an on-line help centre. Or consider for a moment speed humps, incomprehensible road signs, the interminable series of numbers you have to press on the telephone to achieve total dissatisfaction. Not to mention body-piercing and that upward inflection at the end of non-question sentences. No mention of escalators though, but I have to confess I did feel better after watching it.

  2. Naomi Says:

    Visit Naomi

    I think its a bit harsh to say people who dont walk down esculators should be shot!! What if someone has a hidden disability that makes it hard to walk?
    I hate it when people dont give up their seats on buses to disabled people, elderly, and pregnant women.

  3. Garry Says:

    Visit Garry

    Actually in our Toronto Transit stations they are advising people to NEVER walk on escalators, up or down. They say that there are hundreds of injuries a year on escalators and standing still on them will drastically reduce this.
    Now I’ve never seen or been a victim of an escalator accident, but that is now the current trend here. most DON’T adhere to it and it’s not a law, but they advised it and there is a new escalator safety campaign.

  4. Passenger Lifts Says:

    Visit Passenger Lifts

    Well I must say I agree, scalators are handy, and needed to transport, to be taken where we need to go, and not play. Hard but true.
    Thanks for the share.

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